Layton Goes To Market
by AlfendisMysteryRoom
Summary: This is a complete crackfic my wife and I were working on. It's only point was to help me with writer's block on another story I was writing at the time. Don't feel like finishing it. Enjoy the utter lunacy ;) PURE CRACK, IF YOU DONT LIKE, DONT READ!


Professor Hershel Layton wakes up and opens his bedroom windows. Since he sleeps in the nude, his long floppy penis sways is the summer breeze like the pendulum of a grandfather clock. After proudly presenting Mother Nature the gift she gave him, Layton moves into the kitchen to make some breakfast tea and pudding. As he opened his cabinets, he saw there was no pudding mix to be found. He then decided to head to the store and pick up some groceries . He put on some clothes, but not any underwear, because he found it uncomfortable when he sees hint coins and gets an erection. After he finishes tying his shoes, Layton opens the door and find his number one apprentice Luke Tritan waiting for him on the other side, putting his penis in the keyhole.

"Profassa! ProfASSa! I wath you sleep PRO-F-ASS-a! I can watch your penis from that window PrOfAsSa! I have thick BI-knock-U-lars ~profassa~! Your pemis is nICE 'FASSER! I watch u slep PROSSA! You think of you're dead GIRLFRIENDS dunt you pro-ASSR!?" Luke shouted.

Layton justs ignores him as he steps over him to leave the flat, Luke pelvic-thrusting the whole way. As his feet hit the streets, he bumps into his assistant Emmy Altava (although he figured that the bump was no accident).

"Why good morning, professor! I'm sorry~ I couldn't help but run into that..massive..shaft of yours~ It's like trying not to hit you on my motor bike-impossible~"

"Good moring, Emmy," Layton quipped. "I'm off to the store to buy groceries, but then I'll meet you back at the-" Layton was interrupted by Emmy.

"I'll just c-cum with you~ My dear heavenly hung professor~" she said as she begins humping his leg.

"Whatever" the Professor sighed, as Luke began yelling racial epithets at passing cars, with pinky extended of course; As a true gentleman always does.

The three of them get into the Laytonmobile and drive off to the university. Luke barks random incorrect puzzle hints at passersby while Emmy shoves her ass in Layton's face.

"F*CK HAS 4 LETTERS IN IT YOU F*CKING DISGRACEFULL MINIVAN! I have a hard and long puzzle for you! It's called DICKERY Hickery (LIKE THE WOOD LOL) DICK! LIKE MY PENIS!

Layyton~ Have you seen my camera~? You know, the one with the zoom?" Her butt nearly touched his face as she swished it too and fro. "I can't find it, and I have the most beautiful pacage to take a photo of~"

"Where did you learn to drive like that, you stupid mick?!" Luke yelled whilst throwing a bannana at the car.

Angered, the car sped up and threw it's self infront of the dear old Layton dick mobile. Professor slammed on the breaks, narrowly avoiding the dangerous car. Luke was then thrown out the front windsheild dick first, Proffessor slamming forward into the steeringwheel when suddenly a soft slightly boucy item blocked his way.

"Oh my~!" Said Emmy, her ass filled with Hershels face, "Be careful! Don't want to hurt that dick of yours~"

A muffled "Thank you.." Comes from her ass. There are no parking spots by time he gets to the store, except one blue handcap lane.

"Oh, I wish I was handycapped right now.." Sighed the professor as he made another pass around the lot.

"I can.. Be of assistance~" Offered Emmy in a sulter voice, her nipples patruding from her yellow jacket.

"Oh? How so my dear?"

"I'll just dislocate your leg while we shop, and pop it back in later! Then you can be "Handicapped" while shopping!"

"Excelent!" Hershel grinned as he parked in the spot. Emmy gracefully set her hands on his thighs, being the ninja master she was it would be an easy task just to dislocate his thicc thighs. "Wait Em-OH MY GODDDD!" But it was too late, she already did the slight turn. "T-t-that was my D-D-DICK!" Panicked Hershel as the very large member slightly twitched at a different angle. "It's at least two inches to the left!" He yelled. Emmy on the other hand sat there amazed, her white pants showing a wet spot growing larger, her mouth gaping, her tongue moist.

"T-thats your d-dick~?" She trembled as she asked.

"GOSH DAMN IT WOMAN GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF!" Layton yelled in slight anger. Emmy gripped one breast and her pussy. Hershel sighed, defeated.

"I can fix this!"

"Don't." He said flattly.

"But Hershel~ I'm an expert at packages~"

"No, no you're not."

"Drop your trousers." She leaned in grabbing the zipper, he covered himself but it was too late, his pants were down and bent akward member up. "Good boy!" She said as she dropped her pants.

"Emmy no!" He shouted as her dripping soft pink pussy fell apon his dick, in one smooth motion was all the way up inside. Emmy moaned for one moment before sneezing. His dick was gripped tightly, made a smal pop, and then was all better. "Why Emmy! I shouldn't have doubted you!" He grinned at the woman that the large appendage was attached too.

"M-my pleasure~" She moaned out. "Can I have one please?" She gently rocked on his dick, whiining.

"No." He said flatty.

"Just one tiny orgasm?" She pleaded gently bouncing on his cock.

"With you theres no such thing."

"Too late." She moaned out loudly, her head thrown back, her body twiching. "HERSHELL~~~!"

"...Oh my" The professor was a new shade of red. Emmy came down from her new hights.

"-pant-...I-I think -pant- I'm going to need a wetnap..."

"Something tells me thats not going to help." He looks down at the pooling liquid on his lap.

After a quick clean up, Hershel and Emmy were back in action, entering the mart for the desied groceries. Hershel grabs a cart, and puts the Physically spent Emmy in the cart, still wet from their little adventure. He walks down each isle, grabbing what ever needs strike his fancy, untill the golding bron liquid was in sight, pudding. As he aproached the over sized mount of stacked chocoately goodness, he felt a sence of accomplishment. He saw the sale prices abouve, and if he didn't have an erection before from Emmy, it grew twice the size throbbing with each heart beat. Approaching the godess known as whipped choclate pudding, he heard the near by floor drain start to gurgle. He looks to Emmy, wondering if her wetness has already started to fill the drain, but no, it was still in her pants. Examining it closer, the drain flys up and hits the ceiling as thousands of rats start to come out. The broke thr ground around the drain making a sizable hole, as they grown larger and larger with each passing rat. Till finally the biggest and most groutesk rat amerages, with a little Luke apon it's back.

"Hello ProfASSer!" Luke chirped.

"Luke get down from there! You're blocking the pudding." Layton told the child firmly, trying to get around the creature.

"These are my children! I bred every single one." Luke announced pointing to them. They were disguisting mutated half human/rat children, and their very existance was pure agony.

"Luke, you should take up all of the walking space, it's not gentlem-"

"To the owned of a brown tart mobile, your car is currenty being towed."

"Oh shit" He runs outside, and theres the tow guy.

"You do know this car was illegaly parked in a handy capped spot, right?"

"Of course I'm haddycapped, can't you see I'm mentally distraught?!"

"Sorry buddy, rules are rules. Also, you can pick up your half naked lady down at the impound as well."

Hershel will walk home with his pudding and tea. Police are at his flat when he arrives. They ask him about dean delmoana because he was caught drug dealing. Layton is then late from all of the police questioning from a meeting he has with rose, which is purely her trying to get into his pants though obviously its don pablo.


End file.
